I feel it is time for me to understand and accept certain things that I have been ignoring. I have for a great part of my life reacted against the part of my story that relates to society directly. I have had enormous difficulties in relating to societal jobs and work colleagues. The more I dove into more complex parts of the spiritual journey the more difficult it had become my relations with others, simply because their topics and conversations had become very uninteresting to me and vise-versa.
I had taken a long time to realize that phrase that so often pops up in my head: “give to Cesar what belongs to Cesar”. At this point in my life where even greater internal changes are occurring, I humbly thought that I must accept that I will have to become utterly unrelatable and I didn’t know how could I possibly continue my participation in society and continue my journey of ego dissolution at the same time.
This phrase that I mentioned really gave me the solution I so hoped for.
There was something I was missing in all the understanding of my path, and thank the universe for allowing me to be sufficiently open to accept my error and mend my ways.
I have thought either I have to always struggle between the two sides, one time I have the ego the other time I must let it go. Or give up one side and pursue the other.
Truthfully, I understand now that I must give to society what it belongs to society. My real mistake was to assume that the ego dissolution belonged to the part of Lea that was spiritual. However, I have come to understand that this part is also a very solid part of my ego. If not even a bigger part.
I thought I was the spiritual Lea and the rest were roles I had to play. However, now I see that the spiritual Lea is a role too. A role that I love and will never reject.
Ego dissolution is not a process to stop all the important and enjoyable roles I decide to play in my life. It is rather the understanding that I am not those roles and they will always exist in every relationship, a relationship either with others or with myself.
What is asked of me in this path is to uncover all the roles, play them with great joy and gratitude and distinguish what belongs to society, what belongs to being human, and what belongs to the part of me that I will never be able to describe but simply know that it is the truth behind the roles. The mystery that lies behind the certainty of the roles.
Self Growth | Ego Dissolution | Lea Autumn | Spirituality
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